Rich Words

Rich Words from II Corinthians 1

2006-10-18T20:34:00.000-07:00

"The Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, SO THAT WE MAY BE ABLE TO COMFORT THOSE WHO ARE IN ANY AFFLICTION, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God."

Through my recent affliction, I've come to see much more clearly the mercy and comfort of God. I have rejoiced in these attributes of God and have come to know Christ more intimately because of it. BUT, I know realize that there's another component in God's plan of self-revelation to me- that I may comfort and show mercy to others who are afflicted. Only those who have caught a glimpse of the infinite mercy of God through terribly painful suffering can understand this completely. Without the suffering that God sovereignly planned for me, I would not be able to love my brothers and sisters nearly as much. Simple Truth I know, but I just thought it was really cool.

Rich Words from C.S. Lewis: Selfishness > Self-centeredness

2006-10-15T18:29:00.000-07:00

"Such is my ideal, and such then (almost) was the reality, of "settled, calm, Epicurean life." It is no doubt for my own good that I have been so generally prevented from leading it, for it is a life almost entirely selfish. Selfish, not self-centered: for in such a life my mind would be directed toward a thousand things, not one of which is myself. The distinction is not unimportant. One of the happiest men and most pleasing companions I have ever known was intensely selfish. On the other hand I have known people capable of real sacrifice whose lives were nevertheless a misery to themselves and to others, because self-concern and self-pity filled all their thoughts. Either condition will destroy the soul in the end. But till the end, give me the man who takes the best of everything (even at my expense) and then talks of other things, rather than the man who erves me and talks of himself, and whose very kindnesses are a continual reproach, a continual demand for pity, gratitude, and admiration."

Surpised by Joy

Thoughts From Hebrews: Jesus Christ is Our Great High Priest

2006-10-03T17:46:00.000-07:00

Hebrews 4:14- 5:9

"Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need… For every high priest chosen from among men is appointed to act on behalf of men in relation to God, to offer gifts and sacrifices for sins. He can deal gently with the ignorant and wayward, since he himself is beset with weakness. Because of this he is obligated to offer sacrifice for his own sins just as he does for those of the people…During the days of Jesus' life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with loud cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission. Although he was a son, he learned obedience from what he suffered and, once made perfect, he became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him.”

We must “hold fast our confession” since Jesus is our “great high priest.” We can do this more easily than we think because our high priest is able to “sympathize with our weaknesses” and was “tempted as we are, yet without sin.” Our high priest is unique from others- he has “passed through the heavens” and is “the Son of God.” So knowing this, we have an amazing privilege of being able to “draw near to the throne of grace” for “mercy and grace in time of need” (and the sovereign God knows exactly when that time is).

The purpose of earthly high priests is to “act on behalf of men in relation to God” and “offer gifts and sacrifices for sins.” The high priest is beneficial to God’s people because “he can deal gently with the ignorant and wayward”, because he himself is ignorant and wayward (he can relate to them). This position is an “honor” only given “by God”. In the same way, “Christ did not exalt himself to be made a high priest, but was appointed [by God].”

This was Jesus’ great high priestly duty: On the cross he “offered up prayers and supplications” and interceded for us by screaming to God in pain, and like a high priest was “heard because of his reverence.” And as we are, through his suffering was brought to perfection/ completion/ his full purpose, which was being “the source of eternal salvation to all who obey him.” This was his high priestly duty and purpose.

~

It cannot be overstated; Jesus is our bridge to God. We come to God only in Jesus’ name and on the basis of his works. In doing so, we are able to have intimate companionship, as he is able to perfectly relate to our circumstances, yet at the same time he controls and has planned them. All thoughts of God, and prayers to God, must travel along the bridge. Thoughts of God will not be accurate unless they take this specific route. Prayers to God will be lost in empty black space unless they travel this exclusive passageway. Any thought of the Father must include the Son. Without the Son, we cannot relate to the Father. Simply ignoring or forgetting about the Son when thinking of or praying to the Father is utterly futile. The Father, in all his glory, cannot in the slightest bit be seen or understood by man apart from the Son, who is “the radiance of His glory and the exact representation of His nature” -1:3). The “Great High Priest Bridge”, built on the support and trusses of the Father’s grace and love, accommodates both north and southbound traffic. For it is just as unlikely for the Father’s kind thoughts to successfully complete the journey to us, as it is for our thoughts to land in his presence, apart from the Great High Priest. Without the lamps of mercy that light the path’s edges, reflecting off the bridge and illuminating our faces perfectly in the Father’s view, we are but vile and grotesque to him. Let us pray that our Father would grant us grace to restore his Son, our Great High Priest, to his proper place in our thoughts.

A Hypothetical to Ponder

2006-09-20T19:57:00.000-07:00

The journalist/author Chuck Klosterman often puts forth fun little hypotheticals to ponder. Here's one of them.

You are offered a Brain Pill. If you swallow this pill, you will become 10 percent more intelligent than you currently are; you will be more adept at reading comprehension, logic, and critical thinking. However, to all other people you know (and to all future people you meet), you will seem 20 percent LESS intelligent. In other words, you will immediately become smarter, but the rest of the world will perceive you as dumber (and there is no way you can ever alter the universality of that perception).
Do you take this pill?

Cloudy with a few sprinkles. Low 47F.

2006-09-19T19:40:00.000-07:00

Monet's Etretat in the Rain

Today was a bit chilly. I was forced to shed what was left of my summer skin.

(music cue...)

Summer Skin by Ben Gibbard

Squeaky swings and tall grass,
The longest shadows ever cast.
The water's warm and children swim,
And we frolicked about in our summer skin.

I don't recall a single care,
Just greenery and humid air.
Then Labor day came and went,
And we shed what was left of our summer skin.

On the night you left I came over,
And we peeled the freckles from our shoulders.
Our brand new coats so flushed and pink,
And I knew your heart I couldn't win,
Cause the seasons change was a conduit,
And we left our love in our summer skin.

Hi. My name is Aaron. I'm [temporarily] a J.

2006-09-11T20:06:00.000-07:00

Seriously!

Some days I swear I'm an INFJ. I mean, I'm undoubtedly a thoroughbred INFP, but at irregular moments a critical mentality springs upon me and blankets over my mind in perfect lucidity. At that moment I'm entirely comfortable being a judgmental bâtard (pardon my French, it's only to further illustrate my point- as I'm presently in this mindset). And at that moment (or, this moment) mere perception of received information carries no appeal.

You: "Aaron, could you humor us with an example?"

Yes. Like many college students I work at a "mindless consumeristic put on a happy face and just smile because after all the customer is always right" job. And in my certain retail store, as the good perceiver that I am, I usually speak to rude and ignorant customers assuming they are simply 'mistaken' or 'confused' in their inconsiderate rhetoric. Not the INFJ Aaron, though. No no no. I tell em' like it is. "What's that? You thought that shirt was $1.99 instead of $19.99 and you refuse to pay anything more than that? Then good day sir, you are obviously trying to swindle me and we don't need your business- you ignorant fool?!?" Ok ok, minus the 'ignorant fool' (I'm temporarily an INFJ, not an ESTJ).

And I must say, it's quite exhilarating (though I'm afraid not wholly Spirit filled). I spend 99% of my days happily straining my healer idealistic mind to see the good and redeemable qualities in everything and everyone. Every so often it's a bit refreshing to be a little decisive and judgmental. It's not me or who I want to perpetually be, but refreshing nevertheless.

My Guilty Pleasure...

2006-08-22T18:21:00.000-07:00

It's Jewel.

I'm sorry- I promise I usually HATE pop singers. I don't know what it is about her.

fitter, happier...

2006-07-14T13:20:00.000-07:00

more productive
comfortable
not drinking too much
regular exercise at the gym (3 days a week)
getting on better with your associate employee contemporaries
at ease
eating well (no more microwave dinners and saturated fats)
a patient better driver
a safer car (baby smiling in back seat)
sleeping well (no bad dreams)
no paranoia
careful to all animals (never washing spiders down the plughole)
keep in contact with old friends (enjoy a drink now and then)
will frequently check credit at (moral) bank (hole in wall)
favours for favours
fond but not in love
charity standing orders
on sundays ring road supermarket(no killing moths or putting boiling water on the ants)
car wash (also on sundays)
no longer afraid of the dark
or midday shadows
nothing so ridiculously teenage and desperate
nothing so childish
at a better pace
slower and more calculated
no chance of escape
now self-employed
concerned (but powerless)
an empowered and informed member of society (pragmatism not idealism)
will not cry in public
less chance of illness
tires that grip in the wet (shot of baby strapped in back seat)
a good memory
still cries at a good film
still kisses with saliva
no longer empty and frantic
the ability to laugh at weakness
calm
fitter, healthier and more productive
a pig
in a cage
on antibiotics.

My New Friend...

2006-07-10T08:25:00.000-07:00

(he gives me extra napkins... shhh, don't tell)

The Best Feeling In the World...

2006-07-09T16:00:00.000-07:00

...is when I'm eating a 5 piece nugget from Wendy's, and I forget how many I've eaten. I think to myself, "have I eaten 4? or 5?" I then reach into the bag, and discover that I still have one left! That's the best feeling in the world (and the worst feeling is when I reach into the bag and find that I've already eaten all 5. Then I just want to kill myself).

Breakin' All the Rules

2006-07-07T17:44:00.000-07:00

“By my God I can leap over a wall.” Ps. 18:29

“For truly, I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you." Matt. 17:22

"And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith." Matt. 21:22

“He has granted us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature.” 2 Pet. 1:4

I long to, by faith in God’s promises, join Him in breaking the laws in which He created.

The laws of logic and the laws of morality exist because they reflect the thinking and character of God. God cannot act contrary to His character. God cannot act illogically; He defines logic. God cannot act immorally; He defines morality. Therefore, it is irrational to say that God could break one of His laws of logic or morality, since whatever He does is the standard of both.

The laws of science (laws that describe how matter operates in space and time), however, are created (along with space and time). It could be said that the laws of logic and morality are eternal, along with God’s character. The laws of science are not. The laws of science reflect His character, but His character does not necessarily define them, since they are in fact created laws that govern created matter. These laws are not “set in stone” like the laws of logic and morality. God and man (with help from God) at times have broken the laws of science (i.e., miracles). In fact, the breaking of these laws has played an important role in Biblical history. Prophets, Jesus, and Apostles frequently broke the laws of science in order to verify their ministry as being of God (of course we no longer need these types of miracles, since we have the verified Word of God). Jesus said that with enough faith, we too could break these laws.

Question: Is it possible to have enough faith to join God and other Biblical men in breaking the laws of science?

Most Christians would answer no. I suppose Jesus DID use this illustration to show how weak our faith truly is, but after all, we ARE partakers of the divine nature. Is there a limit to how much faith we may be granted? I think not. We too often cap our abilities in Christ and our new divine nature, whether it is the amount of faith we possess, or the level of joy we attain (have you ever realized that there is no limit to the joy we may have in our limitless God?!?) Will we with our faith move mountains? I’m not quite expecting it, but I certainly will dare not rule it out. David's God allowed him to break the laws of gravity and leap over a wall. Joshua's God allowed him to command the sun and moon. Our God could allow us to do equally supernatural acts. Christ said that if we have faith, we can ask for ANYTHING we want. What could be more exciting than that!?

By faith in God’s promises, we are able to “break through” the realm of human nature and experience into the divine- a place that is infinitely happy, restful, and comfortable. This is where I long to live. You may now have concluded that I’m out of my mind, but could a partaker of the divine nature living amongst merely human natured people seem perfectly sane? Since faith is a gift, one could only imagine what supernatural and amazing things could happen if Christians began begging God for the faith to take Him at his Word and believe His promises.

Let’s open our eyes! Let’s see beyond human nature and experiences and by faith begin to live in the supernatural realm. Let’s pray for enough faith to actually believe in the power we have as Christians. We do have it, we simply must believe it. I think it’s high time we stop limiting our new nature, and by faith in God’s “precious and very great promises” begin to experience life in Christ in a very supernatural and infinitely joyful and beautiful way.

(is my type obvious?)

Marching Bands of Manhattan

2006-06-01T15:46:00.000-07:00

If I could open my arms
And span the length of the isle of Manhattan,
I'd bring it to where you are,
Making a lake of the East River and Hudson.
If I could open my mouth
Wide enough for a marching band to march out,
They would make your name sing,
And bend through alleys and bounce off all the buildings.

I wish we could open our eyes
To see in all directions at the same time.
Oh what a beautiful view,
If you were never aware of what was around you.
And it is true what you said,
That I live like a hermit in my own head.
But when the sun shines again,
I'll pull the curtains and blinds to let the light in.

Sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole,
Just like a faucet that leaks ,
And there is comfort in the sound.
But while you debate half empty or half full,
It slowly rises,
Your love is gonna drown.

-Ben Gibbard

Now just imagine what beauty Mr. Gibbard could write of, if only he knew the perfect standard of beauty.

"Follow Me To [Faith in] Freedom!"

2006-05-29T20:37:00.000-07:00

Tonight I was speaking (more accurately, arguing) with someone about the struggles of the Christian life. I told her that I thought she was trying too hard. She said, "Aaron, the Christian life is suppose to be hard. God never said it was gonna be easy." [clearly a product of fundamentalism]

Thanks to a book that I recently began reading, God immediately brought to my mind Matthew 11:28-30. I read it to her:

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. FOR MY YOKE IS EASY, AND MY BURDEN IS LIGHT.

I believe with all my heart that the Christian life was intended to be easy, not hard or burdensome. The only reason it becomes hard is because we sometimes doubt that truth. We sometimes actually think that to follow Christ we have to restrain ourselves. We then need to be reminded that Christ is rest and freedom and joy and a very light burden. To follow Christ we must not restrain ourselves, but fulfill ourselves. We go to the Fountain of Living Water to drink and be filled, not to remain thirsty. As I study the scriptures, I'm discovering that everywhere I turn this truth is prominent- from Genesis to Revelations.

My very good friend then said, "I know that the Christian life as a whole is joyous and freeing, but this trial that I'm going through is very hard, and that's how God intended it to be."

I then reminded her of James 1:3-4:

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

Yes, sometimes trials are hard, overbearing, and burdensome- but only because of our lack of faith and wrong thinking. James' remedy for getting through trials is considering it a joy. WE ARE FREE! We return to bondage when we stop having faith in the fact that we are free- when we stop believing that His yoke is easy and His burden is light.

Freedom is so wonderful.

So is faith in freedom.

A Glimpse of Darkness

2006-05-16T21:36:00.000-07:00

I'm beginning to think that Paul forgot to mention a particular fruit of the Spirit- loss of sleep. As a result of wonderful irresistable grace, I have been delighting in and meditating upon the scriptures more than all my history can boast of. I'm beginning to see things that can only be seen with spiritual eyes, eyes backed by faith (since "faith comes from hearing, and hearing by the word of Christ"). Thank you, Father, for this.

Consequently, here I sit VERY early in the AM hours, typing away. I was not able to sleep until I told someone about this (other then Justin, whom I told this evening over a 10 piece crispy chicken nugget meal, which by the way was a very decent deal- for the next time you're at Wendy's). ANYWAYS, even if that 'someone' IS just a 5'1 Chinese man wearing FuBu sweat pants addicted to surfing random American blogs as a tool for learning English (for who else would be up at this hour except for those in China??), it will still be satisfying to tell.

I am quite convinced that today (or more correctly, yesterday) I caught a very tiny glimpse of hell. I was walking out of the bank, and just before I got to my car, I heard the angriest, most disturbing scream that has ever made its way through my ear canal into my cerebellum (I don't know if the cerebellum has anything to do with hearing perception, in fact I don't think it does, but at least I sound intelligent... that is until one reads this parenthetical note, and my ignorance is revealed... so on second thought please go back and skip this- thanks). ANYWAYS, I first assumed that it was a playful scream coming from a teenage boy. For no one could authentically be making this devilish shriek. I was dead wrong. Once the screaming suspect was in view, I noticed that he was actually what appeared to be a 40-50 year old man. Then, I saw that the intended target of the verbal attack was a very sweet old man with a grandpa's cap on (I don't know what else to call these hats). I couldn't exactly make it out, but I think the younger man yelled, "HURRY, WE DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME!" possibly because the old man wasn't moving fast enough- I don't know.

It's been a long time since I've heard this much anger in a voice. It deeply disturbed me (I guess typical of an INFP). I turned the key in the ignition and a playing cd continued. I shut it off immediately. For some reason, the anger in this man's voice shook me to the core. Even the beautiful sounds of the playing Radiohead song couldn't dismiss my soul's disturbance. The moment just felt dark. Almost satanic. I mean the guy literally sounded like he was demon-possessed! It immediately made me think of hell. And sin. Hell must be a place where everyone is just extremely angry and bitter the entire time. The angry screams of souls in torment must never stop. Even the sweetness of a frail old man in an old man's cap isn't able to suppress the anger of someone in hell. I can't quite explain it, but it was almost like I had seen and heard sin in its most solid and purest form. It was almost palpable. This probably seems so simple and absurd to the common person. Why would something so miniscule affect someone so deeply? I guess you would just have to understand me. I'm just not an angry person. I can't even think of anything that could make me lose it. In fact, I'm such not an angry person that I struggle with being indifferent to things that should anger me, so you can imagine how this affected me.

Everyday is an exploration of the world around me: whether it be the laws of science or logic, architecture, the seemingly random movements of a stranger's head, the way my desk lamp produces beams of light across the pages of the book I'm reading, the odd harmony of certain notes on my guitar, the slightest movement of the second hand on a clock. All this arbitrary inspection of God's creation has one end- to find just the tiniest glimpse of Heaven and its reality. Then, without putting forth any effort at all, a glimpse of hell is thrown in my face. Harsh. It made me sad because I know that most people are heading towards this eternal state of anger (and much worse than just angry will their condition be). It also made me overwhelmingly grateful, because that's what I deserve. I love thinking about heaven. In fact, I may even do it too much (I havn't decided if that's possible yet, I'm still pondering this). I hate thinking about Hell. But from this situation I realized that I maybe should do it more often (the correctness of this I'm also still pondering).

One of Jonathan Edwards' Resolutions was: "Resolved, when I feel pain, to think of the pains of martyrdom, and of hell."

Glimpses of Heaven, I think, are everywhere, we just have to look for them (though perhaps VERY tiny these glimpses may be, but still glimpses). Glimpses of hell are everywhere too, and we usually don't have to or want to look for them. But when God does allow us to see these small glimpses of hell, may it remind us of the eternal destiny of our unbelieving friends. But also, may it remind us of the eternal holiness and love of our wonderful Heavenly Father.

I deserve hell Father, but you have given me Heaven. I deserve an eternal state of anger, but you have given me an eternal state of joy.

Inconsiderate Homeless People

2006-04-05T21:07:00.000-07:00

So I’m eating supper in a Kentucky Fried Chicken, and this crazy old woman who looks like a disheveled version of Minnie Pearl asks, “Can you buy me some chicken?” I, of course, say, “What?” Because this does not seem like an appropriate question. She asks again, “Can you buy me some chicken?” This time I flatly say no. Then she changes her query and asks, “Can I have a dollar to buy me some chicken?” I again decline, and she skulks away, exiting the establishment and camping out in front of the KFC sign on the sidewalk.
Ten minutes later, I finish the last nibble of my buttermilk biscuit, all the while watching this old woman through the window. She continues to unsuccessfully panhandle. As I leave the restaurant and begin walking home, I pass this woman and she stops me again. “Can you buy me some chicken?” she asks. Again I say, “What?” She proceeds to repeat her question, and-upon my silence- asks if she can instead have a dollar to buy some chicken for herself.
To me, this just seems like a poor business philosophy. I realize street people don’t really provide a service,” per se, but- if you had to quantify what they DO contribute into some kind of discernible social role- the most flattering description might be that they make us feel like we’re part of a civilization. They are part of the urban landscape, they are reminders of how life is wicked, and they are profiles in courage.
Or at least they COULD be profiles in courage, if they weren’t so inconsiderate. How can you not remember talking to me, old woman? It’s not like you’re haunted by career responsibilities and bombarded by stimuli; in the past ten minutes, you’ve merely asked random strangers for free chicken. Is recalling that I’ve already declined to give you my charity too much to ask? Must you treat me like a complete stranger? As members of the same civilization, can I not expect the courtesy of a knowing glance when you beg for chicken a second time?
That’s the problem with homeless people: To them, we’re all just a number.

-Chuck Klosterman

The War Of The Soul

2006-02-21T21:14:00.000-08:00

The War of the Soul

Written December 9, 2005

At this precise moment, I hesitantly disclose
That the location of my soul is abetting my foes.
The war of the worlds remains hidden from most,
For it’s not on home soil or some far distant coast.
The war of which I speak, and despise as I write,
Is simply within, where to death our souls fight.

And since it is true, as the Truth has told,
That our lust “wages war” against our very own souls,
Let us not assist in our enemy’s effort,
And treason commit by killing our members.
For each time we give in to false promises of pleasure
It’s ourselves who have suffered and misplaced our treasure.

As if the rifles of our foes we’ve lowered in restraint
And with our own knives, ourselves, we mutilate.
And disfiguring myself, I God-awfully bellow,
“Why, with my sin, am I disloyal to the fellow
Members of my body, whom I have sinned against,
And turned on my Lord, with lust and slothfulness?”

I envision the scene, ashamed and hurt,
Of my opponent moving on with a victorious smirk,
To take on another weak soldier losing breath,
Who will fall in the shadows of sin’s dark path to death.
And the Truth that I now know, and once strained to learn
For a Sunday school lesson in my childhood now burns

In the front of mind, impossible to look past,
That “sin, when it is finished bringeth forth death.”
So why is it we fret with mundane and hollow goals,
When a severely lethal war rages over our own souls?
Make not the mistake of thinking your safe
Because of past faith and a decision you’ve made.

For it’s the faith that continues and fights to the end
That leads us to victory, and then home, finally to ascend.

A Winter's Day

2006-02-20T20:52:00.000-08:00

A Winter’s Day

Written February 20, 2006

Today’s another day spent like most others,
Hid from the world under snug bed covers,
Where the breeze of the winter can’t penetrate,
And escaped from the sight of cheerful lovers.

Burrowed in a bottomless sea of kind sheets,
Where the heart and mind seem finally to meet,
Cast away on an island where dreams dictate,
But memory becomes hope’s cruel defeat.

Oh how I long to be naïve once again,
Untainted by love that was destined to end,
With vulnerable hopes of a lover’s fate,
Now smiles of contentment, I’m forced to pretend.

But even the great poets of old have cried
That even the best of love must someday die.
So from chilled blue lips, it’s worth it to restate,
That if the best love dies, then should even mine.

Tomorrow will be spent unlike most others,
Out in the world snug under snow cloud covers,
Where the winter’s cool breeze throughout penetrates,
And in search of another lonesome lover.

Look Away From My Heart

2006-02-19T19:46:00.000-08:00

Look Away From My Heart

Written December 7, 2005

You laugh when I speak, and so, I sigh in relief,
For I am well-pleased that you find humor in me.
I only hope that will cloud your view of my soul,
On which sin and sorrow have been taking their toll.
Please, look away from my heart before it reveals
The sick nature of man even after he’s healed.
For I have indeed found what most are longing for,
A slate that’s made clean, but even still I crave more.
I’m longing for the grace and the faith to succeed
In the war over lust where my mind loves to feed.
So with simple words, I exclaim without delay,
“My jests only cover what my heart burns to say.
From the depths of my soul, all the way to the core;
My sin’s won the battle, but sustaining grace will win the war.”
So my friend, don’t be fooled by this quick wit of mine.
But look deep within, and a hurting soul you’ll find,
But a sincere heart too, that finds pleasure in Him,
So to the trenches I go- which pleasure will win?